Friday, August 31, 2012

{Where I am...}

So, I have yet to upload the rest of my California pictures, but there's just so much on my mind right now, and I  MUST get some of it out... 

I guess I should just start with the basics... After our summer vaca, I had a wonderful three weeks (some summer break, huh?) with my family and friends. I wish that part of the year wasn't already over because it was relaxing and MUCH needed.  

My Mom was kind enough to accompany me on the long drive up to Provo because, yes, I am finishing my FINAL YEAR OF SCHOOL here. HALLELUJAH. Finally. So close to graduating... Anyway, I really love this adventure. (we took a similar one last year to Idaho). The long drive goes by rather quickly with my Mom and I chatting the entire way. I love listening and learning about her in a way that only comes about when one has endless hours of time to fill. We spent so much time together that at the end of the weekend (she helps me set up my room and get situated), I bawled like a freshman. It's pathetic, but I can't help it! I love her so much and realize how truly blessed I am to have her for a mother. I want to be just like her when I grow up. 

After my Mom flew home, I felt so lonely. We were together 24/7 for 4 days, dang it, and I'm having separation anxiety! I am rooming with three girls I don't know, but after a not-so-smooth start, I'm really beginning to like them. (despite the fact that they're all 19... ugh) It's funny, because I don't feel old at all, but compared to most up here, I'm getting on in my years :/ The other night we had a group of people over, just hanging out, and this one guy was going ON about how old he is, and how it sucks etc. etc. Well, he ends up telling us he's 22 about to turn 23. (FREAKIN' 22 AND HE'S COMPLAINING ABOUT BEING OLD!) He must have assumed I was the same age as the other girls,  because we all had a good laugh when I exclaimed, "well, you might be old at 22, but I'm 22, and I am definitely not old haha." I think he was a little embarrassed, but everyone was laughing and could tell I was teasing. Now, I might say that to a boy, in public, but to you, on my blog, I can admit this little fear of mine -- I honestly feel like I'm getting old! It's a bit surreal, because I don't feel a day over 18. That is, until I really think about it and understand that I've become a completely different person than the one I was graduating from high school. My thoughts, ideals, requirements and goals have changed entirely. I feel like I know who I am now, in a more secure way than I possibly could have upon entering college. The last 4 years have been filled with fun memories, wonderful friendships, and truly life-changing experiences... honestly, I don't think I'd go back and redo any of it. 
***To a special soul-sister of mine: be excited for these next years, because you will learn more about yourself, on your own, and (hopefully) have the opportunity to acquire a love and security with the persona you create.

Back to the story of my first week in Provo... The only things, or, I should say, people, that have been able to make me forget how much I am missing my ginger clan, are my cousin, Charlie, and one of my dearest friends, Kelsey Farr. They have both taken me under their wings and enlightened me as to the Provo way of life :) I don't think either of them realize how much their time and friendships have meant these past 5 days. Both of them have been such a wonderful source of stability as I transition (yet again) into this new stage of life.

Being as this is my senior year, and I'm taking all upper-division Soc. classes. I (understandably) want to DIE. Even though the classes suck, I like that they're in the morning. I admit, I'm not used to waking up at such times, but I think my brain is more active early in the day. I walk to campus, and the scenery is absolutely beautiful... it's making me EXTREMELY excited for Fall and cool temperatures :)

I'm also lucky that my apartment complex is right across the street from the Provo City Library. It's a gorgeous building (most of you probably know exactly what I'm talking about) and unlike the campus library, it isn't a hub of social students making weekend plans and discussing future prospects (marriage wise). So I come here every day after school, for solitude, to read the (MANY) academic articles I've been assigned, write papers, complete quizzes, and peruse my favorite fashion blogs accompanied with an icy Diet Coke (a daily relaxation technique I've developed haha). There are a few things I would like to write down so I don't forget...
1. I have come to the conclusion that one of my favorite things in the world is when I hear a person laugh out loud while reading a book. It's so silly and unplanned; I just LOVE when the writing is good enough to literally force laughter out the reader. 
2. It makes me so happy when I see parents picking out books with their children. I believe that reading is of the utmost importance for kids especially, but everyone in general. And as the saying goes... "kids are made readers on the laps of their parents."
3. There is a man who frequents the corner I've adopted. He looks like a hobo: skin so tan it seems like leather, deep lines on his face that hint towards a rough life, camo pants and a yellowing shirt, a floppy fisherman's hat, a salt-and-pepper beard with matching ponytail, and worn workers-boots that have probably seen better days. But every day this man is here in my corner, reading different books. His hands are clean, and he doesn't smell. He's extremely nice and friendly with no hardness in his eyes... So I'm always a bit confused as to if he's really homeless or not. Maybe it's a social experiment, but probably not. He's witty enough to be a professor... He likes the Snow White decal I have on my computer (said it tells him about my character) and was especially concerned when an introverted, sad girl (a guest to the corner) told him that the ace-bandage, cast-looking things on both her arms were a result of cat attacks! (her family has 8, gross.) I really like this old guy... I like that he smiles a lot, and I like that he reads in the library every day as if he hasn't a care in the world, and I like that he makes every kid that walks past us laugh. (Disclaimer* I'm not about to tell him where I live, or give him my Social Security # or anything... give me some credit now.)
4. Lastly, I like, no, LOVE, the fast internet... seriously. 

And that is all, for now... On to the weekend. It's Labor Day! TGIF for real.



LaNae said...

You are not any where near old!!! I love this post mainly because I am really missing you and I am trying to be happy about this phase of your life and when I read this post I know you are going to be okay and do great;)

Laila said...

Chels i'm living in salt lake and hardly know anyone yet! we should do something soon when you're free :)

jamiebarazoto said...

Miss you! You mornings sound lovely, enjoy the old and new friends!!